How many times have you tried convincing someone without success even though you both knew that you were right?
Well, no need to confirm back to me, because I know the answer. It does happen to everybody, unless you are aware of the 2 keys distinctions I’m about to share with you.
Would it be nice to learn to enroll or convince people to your cause?
Which movie do you want to go watch? Your partner doesn’t agree, well you can use the distinction below? Your business partner or teammate is not sure of your idea? You can leverage the two points below.
Knowing people Decision making filter and their convincer filter.
As a leader (I assume if you are reading this, you are a leader foremost; even of yourself first), one of the secret in leading your organization is trust and rapport with the people you lead.
How do we create trust and rapport with our team?
We’ve got to be able to demonstrate genuine care about the people we work with. Please pay attention to the three words “demonstrate genuine care”.
In other words the person that we are leading has to feel or notice it.
That implies that we need to “speak” the other person “language”.
Simply, as leader we need to know what consistently convinces someone.
The first key is to find out what sensory framework does the person use primarily to become convinced?
To find out two simple question could be: What evidence do you rely on when you make up decision? Like with colleagues at work- how do you know when they’ve done a good job? Are you more convinced when you a/see it? b/hear it? c/read it? d/do it with them?
There’s no wrong or good answer, in fact the answer can be a combination; what matters is to capture what sensory is their primarily filter when they make up their mind.
That’s the first key to speak their language… that’s not enough tough.
The second level to fine tune the language is to find out their convincer filter.
Which in a way is to find out how often does the person has to be submitted to the stimuli in order to be convinced.
In a way the direct question is: How much or how many times are you convinced when someone demonstrated their ability? Do you need to weigh in few things first? Or Are you convinced a/automatically? b/Number of options? c/Period of time? d/consistently over time?
This is relevant for any relationship
At work this is significant – as you can imagine depending on the frequency we would have to demonstrate to the manager, the teammates based on their filters (doing it one time might not be enough for some people?)
In a love relationship (you might have to repeat/show to your partner many times your partner how you care about them).
And so on and so forth, this could applied at many levels….
Where else can this knowledge be applied? Let me know an application where that can be useful?
Also, not only I want to be informative, but I also want to be practical and useful for you… Knowledge is not power until applied. It’s your turn below.
Now I’m curious for you
1-Do you know your decision making filter?
2-Do you know your convincer filter?