How To Lead Yourself and Increase Your Sphere of Influence?

You can easily  Lead ourselves and impact instantly our surroundings!!!

But First Lao-Tzu in the The Way of Life said that “It is wisdom to know others;It is enlightenment to know one’s self.”

One key about the way  we’re influenced depends on our frame of reference. All of us are lead one  way or another. We’re lead either through an internal frame of reference or an external frame of reference or maybe a combination of both(in that case it’s important to know which lead is first).

What  does that mean?

As we discussed in earlier podcast(particularly about emotional targeting). Most of us are raised in “cause-effect”  chain of motion into our actions. Which means a lot of us are raised into  “action” by looking  at external circumstances. Most people would act based on their neighbors( Isn’t it where the  expression ” keeping up with the  jones” also comes from?). As social creature, human beings need confirmation from their peers to “validate” their choices.

Advertisement and psychologist have understood that in human beings , and use this, as  method to lead and influence people. This is for example where the power of “Association” is hugely used (it’s not a chance  that big companies pay huge fortune for endorsements to big stars in entertainment or sports etc…)

The idea is that many people are influenced by external frame of reference. How relevant is this?

When you are a leader of a group you need to be aware of that so you can move some people into action by using this aspect; or if you have some products/services that you know can help people, using testimonials is a way to move and lead some people to adhere to your products/services. As manager or leader of an organization, when you hire for a leadership or a position where you need “maintenance” on a certain goal or task, you need to hire people with external frame of reference;as they would need to keep doing what already works and they would need always confirmation from their peer or manager.

A simple question is to ask while hiring the individual is the following:

“How do you know when you’ve done a good job?”

people with external frame of reference will say- when I get  positive feedback etc…

While people with internal frame of reference would not worry much about people feedback an they would likely say- I know it when I ‘ve done a good job.  People with internal frame of reference are usually self starter an can move themselves based their own believes. They are comfortable moving into new spaces and exploring new territory based on their internal beliefs and conviction; that would be the case of most of the mavericks, explorers, or pioneers.

There’s no wrong, or bad answer.The idea here is to know what your tendency is. The reality is that both  are useful. The key is to know where you stand and in what context ? You can lead yourself or your team based on the context. If you are strongly external frame reference, you can look for “successful” and inspiring examples  that will motivate and inspire you.

Similarly if you are primarily internal frame of reference , you’ll have to keep your vision in front of you so you are driven by your own beliefs.

The application of the internal/external frame of reference are enormous and can be used to lead self or people around you.

It can be used to better understand people around you.

Even with your spouse? one easy question is to ask”how do you know when you feel love?”

The applications are huge if properly understood.

Now for your homework:) what is your frame of reference?

Are you mainly internal, external or both(in that case which one lead?)

Also find out the frame of reference of the two person closest to you.

Both at work and in your personal life.

Until Next time, live your power with purpose and passion

 

 

 

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